Coming out of the Korean Closet

I'm not a gayelle (honoring the citizens of Lesbos with that one), but it's the closest term I can come up with telling people I am leaving the country. It's a tricky thing. I found myself having to come up with a list of people and which form of communication would be most appropriate. Defining this was awful. First was: Do I care if this person knows? If the answer was yes, then I would put them in the "Tell" Category. If the answer was no, then they would be put in the "They will find out when they find out" category. I then looked through lists of friends. If I had indeed talked to them in the past year, then they deserved some sort of discussion. After I had determined who I would tell, it then became a matter of determining what kind of conversation it would be. They came in several categories, each with their own pleasures.

The proper phone call:
This was boring, reserved for close family, like a grandfather or my Aunt Colleen. In this one, I would bluntly say, "Just wanted to let you know, I am going to be going to Korea to work as an English teacher." See? It was the worst. It makes me bored just explaining it.


The slow reveal:
This one was good. In this one, I would casually strike up a conversation with a friend or family member, usually online. It would start off as a "hi" and then transition to "What's new?" From there I would say I got a new job and then put in a nice set of pauses and unleash the phrase "In Korea." A fair amount of shock is involved in this one, yet it looks as though I don't know the weight of my own words, which kills me and usually the person with which I am talking.

The quick note:
This was the facebook reveal. In order to best exhibit it's wonderful characteristics, I will copy the wall post I left for my friend Heidi, who is prone to attacks of great screaming. "Hey Heidi! Hope New Zealand is awesome. I am going to Korea. Love Mallory" She has yet to contact me about this one. She most likely does not believe me.

The tiny hints:
For those that weren't directly told, I would often leave away messages related to my getting paperwork done for my visa, or I would make a status on facebook about how shitty it was calling the Consulate (oh labor of labors! Seriously, I would always call while they are on lunch, which apparently is 8 hours long.)

It was with this one that I had a hard time. About 7 months ago, I gave up eating meat and seeing a certain friend that I used to have a very rocky relationship with. This guy was a big part of my life for so long, and if we were still together, I would have told him within seconds of my decision to go, in fact, he probably would have helped me make the decision. How do you let someone know? I don't talk to him anymore, but I just felt like (and continue to feel like) he should have this knowledge. Is it right? I doubt it. Almost everyone I have talked to about it has told me to forget it as it would only give him a reason to talk to me again, something I am not sure that I want. In my head, there are a thousand dramatic ways I have thought about getting this to him, some including sending him old conversations we had online, one in particular wherein he said that he just needed to learn his lesson by having someone close to him just leave, and then asked me why I hadn't. It would be attached to note saying "Leaving the country for a year. Maybe be can be friends then." This would be a lie, but at least it would legitimize my contact with him. It would have been perfect.

I thought a mix tape/cd. In my head I would leave it anonymous, but I know that he would know it was me. No one else would do it for him, which should be a clue as to his ability to gain/maintain relationships. I have gone over the possible playlist, and after looking over a certain artschoolmouse's blog, I was inspired to share it. Don't judge me.

1.Aberfeldy- Love is an Arrow
2.Basement Jaxx - Good Luck
3.Feist- I Feel It All
4.Atom and His Package- Lying to You
5.Santogold- L.E.S. Artistes
7.Kings of Convenience- Misread
8.Ben Folds- Trusted
9.Kate Nash- Merry Happy
10.Joy Division- Love Will Tear Us Apart
11.Ryan Adams- Burning Photographs
12.Matt Pond PA- It Is Safe
13.Maximo Park- Your Urge
14.Sia- The Girl You Lost

Most likely this will never come to fruition, but it's nice to think that I could send him something that really reflected how I felt. On a post-it note, I would write. "I'll go to Korea. You can go eff yourself."